On Fitting In

(A talk given in sacrament meeting- assigned topic "fitting in")

To the youth, to the newer members of the church that feel like they don’t know enough to contribute yet, and to all of us who have ever felt like “I don’t fit in”

It is human nature to want acceptance and to feel like we “Fit In”

If I ask myself “Do I fit in? Am I accepted?”

On any given day and depending on how I am feeling about myself, the answer to that question could be different. The very fact that I would be asking myself those questions probably indicates that my focus and perspective is on how I am different or that I am feeling inadequate or weak. Therefore, my answer will most likely be No, I don’t feel like I fit in.

Let’s look at that concept of feeling like we fit in or not, from a gospel perspective.

One thing that comes to mind is Lehi’s dream of the Tree of Life.

26 And I also cast my eyes round about, and beheld, on the other side of the river of water, a great and spacious building; and it stood as it were in the air, high above the earth.

27 And it was filled with people, both old and young, both male and female; and their manner of dress was exceedingly fine; and they were in the attitude of mocking and pointing their fingers towards those who had come at and were partaking of the fruit.

28 And after they had tasted of the fruit they were ashamed, because of those that were scoffing at them; and they fell away into forbidden paths and were lost. (1Nephi 8:26-28)

The mocking and pointing fingers as if to say; “if you make that choice, you do NOT fit”

And many fell away and were lost.

We all have strengths (or differences) and we all have weaknesses and there is purpose in that.

D&C 46:11-12 says:

11 For all have not every gift given unto them; for there are many gifts, and to every man is given a gift by the Spirit of God.

12 To some is given one, and to some is given another, that all may be profited thereby.

Every one is given a gift (or a strength). The gifts are too numerous for any one person. The purpose is so that we all may receive the profit from each of the gifts. If one holds back their gift out of fear of rejection, or feeling it is not needed, we all miss out on the benefit of that gift.

Ether 12:27 says:

27 And if men come unto me I will show unto them their weakness. I give unto men weakness that they may be humble; and my grace is sufficient for all men that humble themselves before me; for if they humble themselves before me, and have faith in me, then will I make weak things become strong unto them.

It is our weakness that humbles us. Humility gives us an opportunity to turn to and learn of who the savior is. And it is that REALLY learning who the Savior is, and the marvelous gift of the atonement, that opens up a whole new understanding of the glorious gospel and a whole new world.

Another aspect of trying to fit in: We need to determine by whose standards.

We are put in a position of judging who has the power and authority. We give that person or group of people power over us as we try to win their acceptance. At the same time, we are also judging others as not fitting into that group and we tend to shun them and reject them, putting them below us and not worthy of us showing them value.

On scriptural terms:

D&C 3:7 For, behold, you should not have feared man more than God.

We also forget that God is no respecter of persons and all are equal in the sight of God.

D&C1:35 For I (Jesus Christ) am no respecter of persons

Acts 10:34 Then Peter opened his mouth, and said, Of a truth I perceive that God is no respecter of persons

Mosiah 27:3 And there was a strict command throughout all the churches that there should be no persecutions among them, that there should be an equality among all men

But you think to yourself, sometimes we have to judge people and avoid them lest their influence will lead us astray. No, It is not the people you avoid, but the behavior. Sometimes we may need to walk away to keep ourselves from inappropriate behavior, but outside of the behavior, we can still show respect for the person and look for their strengths and learn from their strengths.

When it comes right down to it: WE ALL FIT IN!

Remember our Divine Nature – we are all children of God.

So rather than ask ourselves if we fit in:

Push that question aside and ask; “How can I take my gifts and contribute?”

We may feel completely inadequate in any given situation, but changing our focus and looking for the ways that we can contribute or serve blesses not only the lives of those around us but also our own.

When it comes to interacting with other people; if my focus changes from whether or not I am accepted to:

With a recognition that each person has both strengths and weakness;

What can I learn from this person? and What gift do I have that can help strengthen this person?

Each and every person becomes of equal worth in our eyes both as someone we can learn from and as someone we can share a gift with.