Don't Fear the Challenges

To listen to a reading of this:
http://www.screencast.com/t/Rsy4qql3aw

           I’m sitting on the couch, laptop open, earbuds in, and microphone unmuted. With my husband working and my daughter not expected home from school for a couple hours, the house is silent. I’m in a virtual group meeting discussing a college assignment. The door opens and I turn to see my daughter burst in and go straight to her room. Right behind her is my former husband and his new wife. The sight of him puts me instantly on guard as memories fill my mind and anxiety floods my body. Recently, he took me to small claims court after having the summons delivered on my wedding day. Why is he in my house? He blurts out the details of our oldest sons suicide. I am in shock! Eventually, I compose myself enough to mute the microphone. I type into the chat, “I have to go. I just found out my son died.” The next few weeks are a blur, but I’m not devastated. Why? My recent past is helping me change my perspective on challenges.

            The divorce after a 29 year marriage, loss of financial security, moving to a smaller rental home in a new community, and loss of my local support system, were challenges that created immense fear in my life. I turned to the Lord, taking it one day at a time. The Lord showered me with compensating blessings and opened up unexpected opportunities. Friends treated me to a haircut, a ham for Christmas, and a $50 gift of cash that made a treasured Christmas tradition possible. Receiving attention from a much younger man at a singles dance restored some of my confidence. Affordable opportunities for college came for me and my two youngest daughters. Then, I met a man who quickly became my best friend. We connected on so many levels and he cared for me in a way I had never felt before. A few months later we were engaged and we married later in the year.

            Of all the challenges, the most devastating was the change in my relationship with my children. For 30 years, my dreams and my focus had centered on my family. I loved big family holiday meals and looked forward to spoiling my grandchildren. Every time I invited my children to a dinner or activity, they said “no.” My oldest son got mad at me at cut me out of his life. A couple months later the same happened with my oldest daughter. They didn’t explain their reasons. When I went on my honeymoon, I came home to discover another daughter had moved out of my home and in with her dad.  Again, there was no explanation or forewarning. I spent Thanksgiving alone and Christmas was only with my new husband. I never expected divorce to also mean losing my children. How do I find purpose in my life now?

            The same week I found out about my son’s death, the financing went through for the home my husband and I were buying. Once again I move and start over in building relationships. I get called as a ward missionary and embrace the sister missionaries as my own daughters. One particular teaching experience was eye opening for me as I was able to use my past painful experiences to connect with this older single woman. I began making friends with many other single women in the area. I realize how the Lord is using my most painful experiences to bless the lives of others. In loving and serving others, I find purpose. In three years, I have gone from divorce to happy marriage and from the death of my son to new life with many friends. My children are coming back to me and spending time with me. My ninth grandchild is on the way. The Lord has blessed me and I have greater faith in His making all challenges work for good. With new perspective, challenges have lost their frightening power. 

What It Means to be Educated

A writing assignment for my English class:

What It Means to be Educated

            I received a letter from my missionary daughter sharing her insights on how intelligence equals light. She talked about how Christ is the light of the world, God’s glory is so bright that we need to be transfigured to be in His presence, and that we are here on earth to gain knowledge or intelligence. Since intelligence equals light, then we are here on earth as “light just trying to grow brighter.” She concluded by saying, “Let your light so shine!” This concept is what I believe summarizes the purpose of education. Knowing the purpose of education is the first step in defining what it means to be educated. To be perfectly educated is to have the same light, knowledge, and intelligence as God.

            We cannot achieve a perfect education in this life, but we can strive to become the best we can be. Each one of us has different talents and abilities so our focus will be different. Because of those differences, an educated person will realize they need to rely on other peoples strengths and learn from them.  We also need to be willing to share what we are learning with others. No one of us will be able to have the needed knowledge alone. If we presume to be more educated than another to the point that we feel they have nothing of value to share with us, or if we feel we have nothing of value to share with others, then we are doing ourselves and others a disservice and blocking opportunities for each of us to further our education. Thomas G Plummer (1990), a BYU professor, addresses this issue in the article Diagnosing and Treating the Ophelia Syndrome. He gives us a treatment plan that will help us avoid this critical mistake in our education process. His suggestions include:

• ·         Seek out and learn from great teachers
• ·         Dare to know and trust yourself
• ·         Learn to live with uncertainty
• ·         Practice dialectical thinking
• ·         Foster idle thinking
• ·         Plan to step out of bounds

            Everybody Is Ignorant, Only on Different Subjects by Eliot A. Butler (1976)  is another great article defining education. He expresses many great thoughts which put into words some of my own views about education. His ideas include:

• ·         We need to be consciously, vigorously, and continually learning.
• ·         “There should be purpose and a sense of responsibility to the learning.”
• ·         “Education is a progressive discovery of our own ignorance.”
• ·         “The educated person will have increased capacity for living amidst some ambiguity, without losing faith in God or man.”
• ·         “To be educated will enrich one’s life and increase one’s joy –and joy is the reason that humans are. To be educated will increase one’s humanness and one’s respect and love for God’s offspring –and such love is the second great commandment. To be educated will enlarge one’s capacity to serve one’s neighbor.”

Butler also addresses the degradation of language and the difficulty of having enough competence in the language to both say it well and understand what is being said. I have had my own struggles with trying to pass on knowledge to my children and others and them misunderstanding to the point of completely twisting and distorting my original meaning. It is a frustrating experience. It makes communication difficult when there are language barriers and the same word has different meanings to different people.

            To help bridge those gaps of misunderstanding and truly become educated in a way that brings us closer to the knowledge of God, requires the presence of the Holy Ghost and learning by faith. Elder Bednar (2007) tells us, “An answer we discover or obtain through the exercise of faith, typically, is retained for a lifetime. The most important learnings of life are caught—not taught.” Learning by faith requires a different set of skills than the typical education process. The Holy Ghost is part of the process. Being worthy, asking in prayer, listening for the direction of the spirit, stepping out of our comfort zone to do, trusting in God’s timing, serving others, and expressing gratitude are all part of the process.

            Education is a continual process bringing us ever and ever closer to the knowledge of God. It requires an individual as well as a group effort. Each individual has to put in their best effort and then the group provides a synergistic dynamic as they teach and learn from each other. By the nature of the goal of education, not all knowledge is of equal value. It must be focused on those things that will bring more value to our life, to the world around us, and draw us closer to God. The only way to bridge the gap between the knowledge we can attain in this world and the needed eternal knowledge is by faith. The Holy Ghost is our greatest teacher and our greatest learning experiences come when the Holy Ghost is added to our group. Let us shine our individual lights and work to make them brighter and brighter every day!

References

Bed,    Bednar, D. A. (2007, September). Seek learning by faith. Ensign. The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.

Butl    Butler, E. (1976, September 14). Everybody is Ignorant, Only on Different Subjects. Brigham Young University. Retrieved from https://byui.app.box.com/embed/l16mrtp5sptz9tv.swf

Plu      Plummer, T. G. (1990, April 5). Diagnosing and treating the Ophelia syndrome. Brigham Young Unniversity.