The Quilt Block

          It is the dark of winter, the holiday season which for me symbolizes family and love, but not this year. My divorce is almost final and it feels like I am also losing my children in the process. By necessity, I have just moved to a much smaller home in a new area. The loneliness is unbearable. I check the mailbox, not really expecting anything. There is a handwritten personal letter from my Aunt Glenna. My heart skips a beat as it is flooded with the memories and love.

I have always thought of Aunt Glenna as my second mom. She has two older sons, but when I would go to stay with her for a week at a time, she gave me her undivided attention and I felt like an only child. Undivided attention is a big thing for an oldest child of ten children.  When I think of Aunt Glenna, the first thing that comes to mind is the incredible food, including Crazy Crunch Carmel Popcorn on the 4^th of July and her famous cinnamon rolls. One week, while I stayed with her, she taught me how to make those delicious cinnamon rolls. I watched and helped as she scalded the milk, prepared the yeast, mixed the ingredients, kneaded the dough and added just enough flour to get it to the perfect consistency. Then we let it rest and rise. When it was ready, we rolled it into a rectangle, sprinkled it with delicious toppings, rolled it up, cut it with a string and waited for it to rise again before we baked it. She taught me many things. She was also one of my favorite teachers at church and now I appreciate the example she set by faithfully attending church every single week and dutifully caring for and loving her non-member husband and sons. I don’t remember them ever attending church with her.

            As the memories flooded my mind, I opened the letter quickly. I expected her to join me in my pity party and give me sympathy. Instead, I saw a six-inch square appliqué quilt block. It was white with a pink flower in the middle and green leaves. I read the letter of explanation. As my Aunt Glenna was going through a box of stuff she inherited from her mom, my grandma, she found the quilt blocks. She decided to send a block to each one of the granddaughters. We were to add to the block, send it back to her and she would finish the quilt. When the quilt was finished, she would draw names from all those who worked on it to determine who would get the quilt.

            I put the letter aside. I didn’t have time to work on the quilt block right then. Little did I know, the magic of the quilt block was already starting to work. It evoked memories of sitting around a quilt with Mom, Grandma, Aunt Glenna, and other women. The multi-generational group of women each put in their hand stitches of love. Some of the stitches were more perfect than others. We talked of children, husbands, our latest projects, the gospel, and life in general. I remember as a young girl how grown-up I felt to be included with the group of women working on the quilt. After I was married, I joined in Relief Society quilting projects. In recent years, I have taken a quilt top home when I go to visit and enlisted the help of my mother, my sisters, my Aunt Glenna, and my own daughters to do the quilting.

             I start creating in my mind how I will add to the quilt block from the letter. I love the color combination of pink and green. I go to my scraps of fabric and pull out a matching plain pink and a green with pink print. I place the fabric scraps with the quilt block and the letter so I can work on it when I have time.

            As I think about the quilt block, I realize this is one last chance to work on a quilt with my grandma. Memories swirl in my mind. I walk into Grandma Stott’s house to the smell of fresh-baked bread. There is a candy dish with pink peppermints on the counter that is a special treat for her grandchildren. Grandma sits in her chair appliquéing a quilt block. She has made quilts for each one of her grandchildren in their favorite color for a wedding or graduation present. When I was a child, on those days that I felt unloved or neglected at home, I would walk to Grandma’s house and her door was always open. She would surround me with her loving arms, talk to me, play a few games with me and then send me on my way home again. By the time I went to high school, Grandma had moved into town making it possible for all the grandchildren to gather at her house between school and mutual. Every Tuesday evening she would feed us dinner before we left for mutual.

            As I work on the quilt block, I think of other quilts. There is the quilt my mom has on her bed made by her ten adult children. Each one of us designed a quilt block that symbolized our family and represented our spouses and children. The creativity and variety represent the posterity she has greatly influenced and is our gift of love and appreciation.

             I have carried on the quilting tradition by making baby quilts for each of my grandchildren to start their life wrapped in my love. Each quilt is a personal representation for that child and a work of art. Some start with a special request from their parents. Just before the birth of her daughter, my daughter-in-law, Jaspenelle, had a dream of her baby girl wrapped in the wings of a giant Luna Moth. Jaspenelle’s spirituality and practice of beliefs is very symbolic. She has influenced me to pay more attention to the symbolism in my own faith which has deeply enriched my understanding. She gave me a picture of the moth and asked if I could make a quilt like it. I welcomed the creative challenge.

            As I ponder on the initial disappointment I felt as I opened the letter and saw the quilt block, I realize that my Aunt Glenna gave to me just what I needed at that time in my life. She pulled me out of wallowing in self-pity by giving me an opportunity to do service, be creative, and feel surrounded and comforted by many memories of loving, nurturing women who have had a great influence on my life.

Although the finished quilt didn’t get awarded to me, I was glad to be a part of it. It was given to the oldest granddaughter. Here is a picture of the finished quilt

 

and a picture of the Luna Moth quilt I made for my granddaughter.

The Quilt - A statement of belief

This I Believe

I believe every single individual in my life has something of value I can learn from them. This influences how I interact with others. I look for the gift a person brings into my life and thus rarely see the negative things about them. Not seeing the negative has caused pain in my life as some people have taken advantage of me, but the occasional hurt is worth the risk. With time and experience, I developed boundaries to protect myself. Yet, because I value the gift I know each person can contribute to my life, I go out of my way not to put up the walls that could shut them out. As a result, I developed valuable friendships with some people I saw many others shun. As I listened to the heartaches, life experiences, and lessons learned from those whom others have cut out of their lives, they taught me some of my greatest treasures of wisdom. It gives me a greater ability to feel compassion, love, forgiveness, and to not take offense easily.

 I don’t know when this first became so important to me. In grade school I watched as others were picked on and I would go out of my way to show them I was their friend. One girl in particular was shunned because she was heavier than the rest of us. I made her a quilt for our eighth grade graduation. After high school, I lost touch with her. Then one year, out of the blue, she called me for my birthday. Her phone call lifted my spirits on a rough day. About a year ago, we connected on Facebook. Shortly after we connected, she came for a visit. She talked about the quilt I made for her and how she still has it and how much she values it. There are many ways the current life of this remarkable woman influences mine for the better.

Climbing the Cliff- Childhood memory

On a warm summer afternoon, my parents took us for a picnic in the nearby Blackleaf Canyon. After we ate, we went for a walk to see the mountain views. The daunting rock cliff loomed before us. I wanted to climb to the top and see the view from there.  My older male cousins climbed to the top and challenged us to join them. I knew going up would be easier than coming down. They assured us of an easier way down on the other side. I studied the route I had seen them take up the wall of the cliff and determined places where I could put my hands and feet. I started to climb the easy path, but it quickly became a challenge. I stopped and looked for the passable route. A jutted rock worked for a place to put my foot while I grabbed a branch to pull myself up. I slowly picked my way up the rock cliff.

The calls of encouragement from above also included the advice to not look down. I didn’t listen and looked down and saw how far I had come. I knew at that moment there was no turning back and no going down. I loved the feeling of mastering the mountain. The challenge intensified and for a few minutes I thought I was stuck.  I eventually saw a way I could reposition my body and continue my ascent.  The crevice in the jagged rocks then provided plenty of secure placements, making the way easier, and before long I had reached the top. I enjoyed the exhilaration of the victory and the panoramic view. My parents down below looked like miniature versions of their former selves.

 As I looked down, I saw my younger sister climbing up the cliff. She struggled to find a way and got scared. She reached the challenging spot and stopped. Terrified and stuck, she couldn’t go on. The fear hit me and I felt responsible for the predicament she was in. She wanted to go back down, but I knew she wouldn’t make it. She refused to even try to continue. I knew she couldn’t hold on forever. Somehow I had to get her to continue upward. I knew if she could just get past that spot then the rest of the way she wouldn’t have a problem. I assured her that was the hardest spot and finally got her to calm down enough to listen to me. Flat on the ground, hanging partially over the edge of the cliff, I pointed to each rock and told her to put her foot there and grab that rock with her hand, then pull herself up. With a lot of coaching and encouragement, she finally made her way to the top and collapsed in tears. I don’t know that she ever looked at the view.

Digital Learning will Transform Mainstream Education

Imagine a school where each child has a curriculum plan adapted to their individual needs, can progress at their own pace, and will graduate having learned all the core concepts needed for whatever they choose to do in life. Visualize a school where parents know what their child is learning, can see the work their child has done, can give feedback and help where needed, and can easily communicate and collaborate with the teacher. Dream of a school where the teacher has access to unlimited resources and updated curriculum to ignite the minds of individual students, where progress for each individual student can be monitored easily and help can be focused where it is needed. Now imagine that school available to every child no matter where they live or their economic status. We look at our current educational system with all its faults and think, it is impossible. Maybe some children can have that type of school, but it will never be possible for all children. That “vision of an education” can become a reality for all children by understanding the benefits and properly implementing “digital learning” in our mainstream schools.

What is digital learning? Digital learning is using technology to transform how teachers teach and how students learn. According to Digital Textbook Playbook, hereafter referred to as DTP, students learn thirty to eighty percent faster using technology. An example of that in my own life would be using my Kindle to read a book. Anytime I come across a word I don’t understand, I can click on it and get the definition right then and increase my comprehension of the text. Other examples of technology being used to facilitate learning would be online lessons that have links to:

·         interactive games

·         videos that show people, places, things, science experiments, etc.

·         questions to be answered as you read along

·         audible pronunciations and definitions of new words

·         quizzes

·         additional resource links for further study

Teachers have access to monitor how students are progressing through the lessons, online chalkboards that the student could save for future reference, and collaboration with many other teachers to share the best resources and ideas. Collaboration with others helps to solve one of the problems of transitioning to digital learning.

Anytime there is a change of this magnitude, there are all kinds of problems. Most people would rather use what is familiar even if it is ineffective. Administrators, teachers, and parents need to catch the vision before they will be motivated to change. Only then can the real problems, of implementing digital learning into the mainstream schools, be addressed. Some of those major problems would include, teacher training, transition costs, and internet safety issues.

What a tragedy it would be if administrators spent money to put all the necessary technology into place only to have it barely used because the teachers did not know how to implement the changes effectively. Teachers, most of all, need to catch the vision of the potential of digital learning for their students. Teachers need to be trained on how to use the technology. In many cases the students will probably master the technology before the teachers. One of the most crucial changes is learning how to facilitate the classroom to allow each student to progress at their own pace. Digital learning makes it possible to change the classroom so the learning conforms to the individual and becomes mastery based rather than grade oriented. Being aware of the resources and taking advantage of collaboration with other teachers will maximize those changes exponentially.

Administrators and lawmakers need to support teachers in focusing on mastery based learning. Funding will be one of their biggest concerns. All students will need to have their own digital devices like a tablet, laptop, or some other comparable device. They will also need to have access to the internet and enough supporting bandwidth to run all those devices efficiently. Transitions cost money, but understanding the cost benefits of digital learning will help convince administrators to make that investment. One example of the cost benefits of digital learning is the savings of textbook expense. According to DTP, using the digital textbook will save about $600 per student per year. There are several options for helping with the transition costs  listed in the DTP. One option is to have the students bring their own device.

Some concerns with having the student bring their own device are the potential incompatibility across the various devices, internet safety issues, and emphasizing economic inequality amongst the students.  If the school purchases the devices, all students have the same access and safety issues could be handled by password protection and not allowing access to unsafe internet content. Those are issues that will have to be discussed and decided by each school administration in the transition.

Making the transition to digital learning in the mainstream schools is not without challenges, but it is possible. Parents who have the time and are motivated can have that “vision of an education” for their children now and most of the time for no additional out of pocket cost. All our children deserve that same opportunity. We need to take action to have digital learning available in our mainstream schools. It starts with sharing the vision and letting teachers, administrators, and lawmakers know how to make it happen. Imagine every child graduating high school with the core knowledge they need for a productive future!

List of resources:

Digital Textbook Playbook   All the pertinent information for transition collected in one document

K12.com  An innovative company actively engaged in making the best curriculum available to schools and individuals

ProjectRED  A place for teachers and schools to collaborate and find resources 

Get Government Out of Marriage

Get Government Out of Marriage

As a possible solution to the definition of marriage/gay marriage controversy, I propose to get government out of marriage altogether. It is an opinion that can be agreed upon by some of those on both sides of the argument. The legal purpose of government being involved in marriage is so far distorted from the protections originally intended that the purpose is obsolete. The numerous laws that would be affected by the change are already being disputed and changed by the original controversy. Domestic partnership and civil rights laws would still provide the lawyers plenty of work and income. It would get rid of the illusions implied by the legal marriage certificate and allow others, such as religious leaders and those invested in helping innocent children and women, to come up with solutions to help. It would preserve the sanctity of marriage and religious freedoms as another separation of religion/state.

Why should there be special privileges just because two people love each other and commit their life to each other? A big part of the commitment in marriage is for the sake of the children who might be born as part of that union. Optimal care for children requires sacrifice from both the mother and the father. One of those sacrifices could be the primary caretaker of the child becoming financially dependent on the other parent in order to provide the time that child needs. To take that risk requires trust and commitment. The legal marriage certificate has, in the past, provided enforcement in default of that commitment of financial obligation. Government was willing to back that up because investing in children gave them more power. Children are no longer as important to the strength of the governing forces, so government concern is only a moral responsibility. The moral responsibility comes in a government by the people and for the people.

One of the arguments for keeping government involved in marriage is for tax breaks.  Those tax breaks were one of the incentives used to help protect the rights of the children that are cared for in a marriage/family situation. So many children in our society today do not have parents who are married. We need to restructure the tax breaks so they once again connect with their primary intended purpose. As previously mentioned, it takes a lot of time and financial sacrifices to care for children. The tax breaks need to go to those who invest their time in that purpose. If it is an extended period of time, then the tax breaks need to continue even after the children are grown because of the lost career and financial opportunities.

Another disagreement presented for keeping government in marriage is to preserve the sanctity of marriage. Why should government have anything to do with the sanctity of marriage? For me, my marriage covenants are very important and sacred, but that comes from my religious beliefs and has nothing to do with the marriage license. I used to assume that marriage meant the same to everyone else as it does to me. I have come to understand that marriage means different things to different people. The way we feel about marriage is more about our beliefs than it is about any government sanctions. If we turn back to the constitution and look at the original purpose of separation of church and state, then the way we individually define marriage in our society today comes more under the category of church than state.  The legal conflicts that appear more and more with our diverse opinions on marriage are the very type of conflicts that having separation of church and state are meant to prevent.  Our current marriage definition conflict is ultimately a debate between civil rights and religious freedoms.  Removing government from marriage is a solution that could resolve those issues and would allow for that diversity of opinion and preserve the sanctity of marriage.

I would propose that one of the biggest detriments to changing the role of government in marriage is all the laws it would impact.  Hundreds, if not thousands of laws might be affected. The impact on those laws and how they might affect our religious freedoms is one of the major debate points in the definition of marriage debate. Those laws currently are being challenged in the courts. By introducing the alternative of getting government out of marriage, in each one of those situations, it could help retain our religious freedoms and also protect those civil rights. This would be the time to tweak the laws to reflect the change that has come to our society.

An additional benefit that could come in getting government out of marriage would be in getting rid of the illusion of financial protection that marriage certificate now holds for many of us. Unless you have been through a divorce, someone close to you has gone through a divorce, or you are involved in the system, you may not realize the detriment that current divorce laws bring, especially to the women and children involved. With no-fault divorce and the ease of getting a divorce, the protections we once thought were there are no longer available. Getting rid of the illusion that comes with the legal marriage certificate would encourage many of those who could be helpful to children and their caretakers to find viable solutions and stop some of the suffering.

Our society is changing. We need to stop butting heads in an unresolvable conflict. Become aware of the real issues. As the debate continues, step up and be a voice for change with a real solution that could meet everyone’s needs. The change will not be easy or quick. It will require many voices of reason to counteract the emotional reactions of the masses. Here are some links that discuss and inform on many of the things I only briefly addressed in this essay:

A letter from religious leaders addressing the marriage debate and religious freedoms

Blog on purpose of marriage

Separation of church and state

An example of one legal conflict

One debate between friends from opposite views on the definition of marriage

My Trial of Faith

This is from a talk I gave in church 4/29/12
 My Trial of faith:
 Have you heard that analogy where the Lord takes a cottage that needed some remodeling and ends up knocking out all the walls and building a mansion instead. My life has been like that this last year. Only I wasn’t living in a cottage. I was living in a beautiful home that the Lord had helped me construct and in my opinion it only needed a little bit of tweeking to make it perfect. But the Lord had different plans and knocked the whole house down with seemingly almost nothing left of that original structure and way too quick for my comfort and security. I think about the only thing that was left was a good foundation of faith and the gospel and even that faith foundation was shown to be weak in areas and had to be strengthened. That is what I want to talk about today.
Strengthening Faith
From a talk given by Elder Richard G Scott in April Conference 2003

You will gather the fruits of faith as you follow the principles God has established for its use.

Some of those principles are:

• • 
  Trust in God and in His willingness to provide help when needed, no matter how challenging the circumstance.
• • 
  Obey His commandments and live to demonstrate that He can trust you.
• • 
  Be sensitive to the quiet prompting of the Spirit.
• • 
  Act courageously on that prompting.
• • 
  Be patient and understanding when God lets you struggle to grow and answers come a piece at a time over an extended period.

Look for these principles as I tell my story.

 I am the type that has always had my life all planned out. In those areas that depended on others choices, I had alternatives planned out that I would be just as happy with.
 Then we come to:
 A year ago my then husband of almost 30 yrs walked out the door, stopped communicating with me, and filed for divorce. It wasn’t completely out of the blue. It had never been an easy marriage and the previous couple of years had been really challenging. I had considered divorce in the past and had weighed my options and thought about what I would do if it ever came to that. I was a stay at home mom with no real qualifying work experience. I had always made my choices based on what I thought was best for my children. I counted on the legal protection that I thought came with that marriage certificate and my former husbands verbal commitment to the importance of a stay at home mom for my financial security. Even though it was scary remaining financially dependent in that situation, I always made the choice that I thought was right for my children and trusted that the Lord would take care of me. So when the divorce happened, it became a real test of my faith in that area. Would the Lord really take care of all my needs? As time and time again I experienced more and more shattering of those illusions of security when they all fell through and didn’t end up being at all what I expected, it tested that faith over and over again. It was a time of tremendous fear and feelings of betrayal. Fighting against letting the anger or depression take over was a real challenge. As disappointment after disappointment came up, how easily I could have blamed the Lord for not meeting those expectations in the way I thought they should be met, and also turned away from the Lord. But because I have had experience in the past of trials of faith, I knew I could trust in the Lord even though I didn’t understand at all how things could possibly work out as all my best planning kept falling through. I had to learn to really just let go of it all and leave it in the Lords hands. I had to stop planning and just depend totally on the Lord, focus on whatever positive I could find and just take the next step. I didn’t know what the next day, or the next month would bring, let alone any further into the future than that. As long as I was turning to the Lord, I did always know at least a little of what I needed to be doing each day. I was running as fast as I could to do everything that needed to be done. On the days and times when I just couldn’t do it, I would pray for help to even function and the Lord would pick me up sometimes by sending just the right person to help me make it for a few more hours. While financially my faith was really being tested, one positive that I always felt was a tremendous outpouring of love. Heavenly Father surrounded me with love of many people and it was desperately needed. They couldn’t provide a lot of financial support, though the little bit here and there helped me make it through the worst times. They also weren’t able to give me a lot of advice or legal help, but the shoulder to cry on, the listening ear, the word of acknowledgement, the willing hands especially in the moving stage made all the difference in the world. I don’t think I will ever be able to thank properly all the people who really helped me so much that I wasn’t even able to acknowledge. I hope to pay that forward to others in need in whatever way I can.
 Just a few key things that help me:

1.  Constant prayer- Ask, then do my part.
2.  A determination from the very beginning that I was going to come out on the other side of this as a loving, trusting, happy person. Evaluating my choices with that in mind helps let go of places where I could get stuck in the anger, bitterness, and revenge. Recognizing that fear is really an evidence of where my faith is weak. That helps me focus on strengthening and trusting the Lord rather than trying to control the source of the fear.
3.  Focus on the positive/ gratitude- With all the loss and grief there was still a lot of abundance. 
4.  Doing everything I can to keep the Spirit which is also motivation to quickly work through the anger and come to a place of forgiveness. That forgiveness also needs to be for my own weakness. All of that is only possible because of an understanding of the atonement and knowing and having faith and trust in Christ. Knowing comes from scripture study and application. 
5.  Acknowledging the anger helps me stay out of the depression. Choosing to use the energy from that anger to motivate me to keep moving forward in my life instead of letting it be wasted energy used to try to punish the past.
6.  Listening for and acting on the guidance from the spirit. (practice) The things I am most sure of in my life right now are things that I have felt strong guidance from the spirit.

Some of those are:

•   Move into my current house. I knew I needed to move to a place where jobs were more accessible and find a place more affordable. I couldn't pay the high mortgage payment with the maintenance I was given and the job opportunities were nill. I prayed for the Lord to help me find a place that would meet my needs even though I wasn't aware of all of them. I determined my budget and started looking. I found one place in the time frame that I had. It ended up being perfect in so many ways that I never would have thought of.
•  I attended both the career and self employment workshops put on by the church employment office. They helped me gain confidence. It opened up the door to increasing my sewing business. I met people that have played other significant roles in my life.
•  I got involved with the single adult program at church. Marriage wasn't my primary goal but it did play a part. I wanted a chance to socialize and meet new people that I could do things with. I ended up meeting someone that encouraged my fiance to get to know me. Neither one of us were really looking for marriage this soon, but the compatibility and the connection is too undeniable to not act upon. I am getting married August 14.
• Continuing my education.- The opportunity to get my Bachelor Degree became an affordable possibility that works with my circumstances through the BYUI Pathway program. 
• I am discovering things from my past that I was led to do and learn that didn't have any relevance at the time are now starting to show their importance.

Writing Online and Cornell Note taking

Writing Online and Cornell Note taking
Cornell note taking is one method to help turn information from others into our own learning. It includes three steps: what is done before, during, and after class.
Before class we should prepare by using a three ring binder that can include both our notes and handouts. We also need to prepare our paper or use a template that has a line 2 ½ inches from the left side. The right side will be used for taking our notes and the left is a recall column. Another useful thing is to review previous lectures and make note of any questions that might help increase the learning.
During class it is helpful to choose our seating carefully and fully engage in the lecture. We take notes by using short phrases or sentences to capture main ideas and supporting facts. Our own consistent symbols and abbreviations can be helpful.
After class there are three important time periods. Immediately after we do a quick review of our notes to make sure we have captured all the key ideas and to see if there are questions we need to clarify with the professor. Within 24 hours we fill in the left recall column by reducing our notes to the most important concepts and possible additional questions. This makes it easier for future reviews.
Over time we regularly review, recite, and practice our notes which helps move it into long term memory and makes it easier to recall in the future. After we accumulate several pages of notes it is also helpful to further reduce our notes into a page or two of summary of key ideas and concepts.
Another thing we discussed this week is online writing habits. If we want to be taken seriously and understood, we need to pay attention to spelling, punctuation, and grammar even in our online writing. That includes emails and online posts. Things to pay attention to include: using a meaningful subject line; addressing the recipient; being specific about who we are, why we are writing, and what we want; avoid using all caps or not using any capitalization; use proper punctuation; make our intended tone clear; emoticons to be used informally; don’t overuse exclamation points; avoid overstating our point or being aggressive or offensive; and do not use abbreviated “text Messaging”.

Financial management

A summary of this weeks learning:

Free Write Wk 7
I think the best way to summarize this weeks principles of financial management are with the 5 keys brought out in Elder Wirthlins talk
First we have “Pay your tithing”. As we pay our tithing, besides the blessings of having the windows of heaven opened up to us, it also helps us keep a proper perspective of money in our lives. We are reminded of how everything is spiritual in nature even those things that may only seem to be temporal. It teaches us discipline and faith and trust in the Lord that he really will take care of our needs as we do our part even when we can’t see any way possible.
The next key is “Spend less than you earn”. In order to do that we need to have at least some sort of budget. I think budgets can be as individual as are people. The trick is finding what works for us given our financial strengths and weaknesses. On a basic level it is being aware of how much is coming in and where it is being spent and making a conscious choice to spend it where it brings most value to our lives and always being in the group of people that spend less than we earn. We all spend pretty much about what we make, some a little less and some a little more.
Key number 3 is “Learn to Save”. Just like in paying our tithing and taxes, if we take it right off the top, we don’t notice so much in our budgeting and we learn to live with the smaller amount. Some things that help are having a small emergency fund for those unexpected expenses so we aren’t constantly sabotaging our efforts by going into debt for emergencies. Another trick is by living off of last months paycheck instead of this month or the upcoming paycheck. That way we always have a little bit of cushion in the budget. Food storage and insurance also help in the area of emergencies and making sure that we are allotting in our budgets for those once a year expenses (preferably equally divided between all paychecks)
Number 4 is “Honor your financial obligations” This we do by avoiding debt, but when it becomes inevitable we do what we can to pay off all our debts. This also addresses the honor and integrity we live by in all financial obligations in our life. How we run our businesses, how we treat our family members, etc.
Finally we have “Teach your children to follow your example” I like how one class member brought up that maybe that should be changed to “ teach your children to improve upon your example”. As our children and our family members know and understand the principles of good financial management it brings more peace into our families.

Courage for 20 seconds

"Courage for 20 seconds" I watched a movie this last weekend (We bought a Zoo) that had that line in it. I've been thinking about that. Courage to risk opening your heart in a relationship with the risk of rejection or deepening the relationship. Courage to speak up in a political discussion where you have an opposing viewpoint. Courage to share a spiritual concept with a friend, family member, or coworker.
Courage to confront evil like in the case of Moroni and his letters to Ammoron (Alma 54:5-14) and Pahoran (Alma 60). Moroni wrote very similar letters to both. That courage to speak up and confront the evil in the situation and give the opportunity to the other person to do the right thing even in the face of creating more anger. And in the responses to the letters we learn of the intents of the hearts and thus dispel some of Satans deceptions. Ammoran responded with anger. Pahoran was grateful because it gave him an answer as to what to do. He reafirmed that his heart was in the right place. I am sure it took Moroni much longer than the 20 seconds, but what a difference it can make to have that courage for 20 seconds to speak up and share truth and open the way for more truth and maybe make a big difference in someone elses life.

Free Write Wk3

I think this weeks learning can all be summed up in the graphic that represents the mission of BYUI

It is circular in nature representing the integrated systems of the whole college and even our lives.
At the core is student honor. We have the honor code that is a step above. It includes our personal honor, integrity, being in tune with the Holy Ghost, it is central to our lives, brings us joy and happiness, and a desire to love and serve others. It is based on integrity, morality, and consideration of others.
Surrounding that is the Spirit of Ricks. Every thing works together to help keep that spirit permeating our lives and learning experience.
It is a place we go to get more than just an education. There is also top priority placed on disciple preparation and leadership development. From that central place a standard of truth is erected and goes out to influence the world.
The disciple preparation center (DCP) accelerates the process by being isolated, focused & intense, emphasis on dress code and demeanor, a temple of learning, near a temple, surrounded by strong stakes of Zion. It emphasizes a faith that is focused on the Son of God, a spiritual gift that should be sought, and a means of dispelling fear.
Disciple leadership emphasizes leading with a small “L”(ministering and serving), ability to teach, courage and conviction, knowing how to communicate effectively, and living with honor.
The keystone that makes it all possible comes through the emphasis on inspired learning AND teaching.

As I ponder on these things, it just makes me want to more fully step up, incorporate as much of this same spirit in my individual learning as possible, do everything I can to keep the spirit with me, learn more so that I can serve more effectively in what ever the Lord has in store for me.

Free Write WK 2

Summary of principles:
Our lesson objectives for the week are to identify the gospel perspective on learning and to identify and apply skills for adjusting to college.

To summarize from the book Major Decisions-Chap1 & 3:
Chap 1 talks about the value of education especially for us as LDS. Because of the value of education we can count on Divine guidance to help us out. We need to take the opportunities to learn all we can in many different areas. Education will help us not only in this life but the next. It will enhance our abilities to serve the Lord and our fellowmen. Heavenly Father will direct our paths and get us the education we need and put the people in our paths that will help us succeed in the way both needed for ourselves and others.

Chap 3 talks about High Stakes judgments. Because of globalization, one person can impact the entire world for either good or bad. The degree of HSJ decisions we are capable of making can determine our success and pay scale. Understanding what decisions are HSJ can direct our career path in the most profitable way. They have to do with amount of risk, amount of time to train, and working with people rather than inanimate objects. Some HSJ jobs don't pay as well financially such as teachers, volunteers, and parents. We should always work to increase our HSJ capabilities. Good HSJ decisions require 3 things: analysis skills, people skills and moral sense. College helps us develop the skills to make good HSJ decisions.

The process of adjustment:
When we embark on new experiences in our lives there is a process of adjustment. That also applies to starting college. Those stages are the Honeymoon period, Culture shock, Initial adjustment, Mental Isolation, and finally Acceptance & Integration. Recognizing and giving ourselves Time to go through that process is a key factor.

What I learned:
I think the thing that had the most impact on me this week is recognizing that I am really going through a process of adjustment in my life right now. Not only with starting college, but I have just changed marital status and am joining the world of singles. I am living in a new city which has also changed my living style from more country to city living. I am in a new ward & developing new friendships. I am also just starting to actively promote my sewing business and having some success which also brings fitting all of that into my daily routine. Basically there is very little of my life that is the same as it was a year ago.
I think the process of writing down my own personal case study and reflecting on the stages of the adjustment process has helped me tremendously. Even in class as I was sharing I was being helped with the process. I can recognize aspects of all the first 4 stages of the process in my life right now. There are even changes from the first of the week to now. I also feel a little more relaxed and have made the decision to not worry about getting a part time job until I have moved more of my current life in to the stage of Acceptance & Integration. I would however take on a job if it was dropped in my lap. It is okay to take time with the process.
Another thing that has really helped was the reading in Major Decisions about how even if our lives don't necessarily go in the direction we had planned that Heavenly Father is there directing and we will be taken care of, we will get the education we need, and we will meet the people that are supposed to come into our lives both for our benefit and the benefit of others. I do very much feel guided in my life right now and am feeling a little more faith in the process.

College

Since I have returned to college (BYU-I) and part of the experience to really help make the learning stick is to teach it to others, I have decided that I will start using this blog to post some of my summaries and reflections. I welcome your comments and questions!

Here is a copy of my Free Write from Week 1:

Summary of principles:
The objective of the lesson this week is to become familiar with the course structure and environment and to reflect on the purposes and value of a college education.

Peer to peer instruction helps us learn by also teaching. That teaching allows action and helps us accept responsibility for our own education. By taking that action we are inviting the Holy Ghost into the process and that helps accelerate the learning and helps us reach beyond our own capabilities. Participation also helps us recognize the spiritual guidance we are being given. Our willingness to act or exercise our agency gives the Holy Ghost the opportunity to influence both our lives and the lives of those we with whom we interact. Preparation with those goals in mind is a big part of the process.

From the Major Decisions readings: We learn that although college doesn't always insure job readiness and good grades do not guarantee real learning or preparation for life, it can open our eyes and our heart to the world and the possibilities. Higher education is essential to a successful, secure career. It can help us with our people skills and analytical skills. It gives us an opportunity to be influenced by others and learn by both their insights and mistakes. We need to take responsibility for our own learning. We need to consider the costs, not just financial, but also the opportunity costs and the time value of money. The more we can develop our vision and our ability to make high-stakes judgments the greater our value becomes. Hard working students who are a little older and more mature can perform well in college. College gives us an opportunity to have a more secure and intellectually rewarding career.

What I learned:
When I attended Ricks college in the past, I loved the spirit that I felt there. I didn't think I would ever experience anything like that again. I realized as I was listening to the videos and clips and interacting with my fellow classmates that spirit was present. The Spirit of Ricks or now BYU-I is here even in this online learning opportunity. I love it!
Another thing that really stood out to me is the importance in the learning process of teaching others. I am looking for opportunities when I am teaching to also encourage those in the class to teach others the things they are learning.
It has taken me a long time to learn how to really recognize the guidance of the Holy Ghost in my everyday life and I still fall short of it all the time. I look for opportunities to teach others the process so they can recognize the Spirit in their own lives. This gave me some good clues in that direction. In addition to prayer and preparation, taking that action to step up and participate and teach each other authorizes the Holy Ghost to influence us. I know in the past as I have been teaching or just participating in a discussion, when someone asks a question and I ponder and respond, it is many times in my own speaking up and responding that things become clearer. It is in attempting to put it into words so someone else can understand.
I think rather than worrying about what I can't do or am scared to do, it is more important for me to just step up and do what I can and trust that the Spirit will guide the process.

The key process: Prepare > Teach > Reflect> Put into action (not necessarily in that order)

I have learned many things over the years on my own but it is not nearly as powerful as the learning that takes place with the interaction with others thoughts and ideas. I love the intellectual stimulation that this college opportunity provides!