Don't Fear the Challenges

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           I’m sitting on the couch, laptop open, earbuds in, and microphone unmuted. With my husband working and my daughter not expected home from school for a couple hours, the house is silent. I’m in a virtual group meeting discussing a college assignment. The door opens and I turn to see my daughter burst in and go straight to her room. Right behind her is my former husband and his new wife. The sight of him puts me instantly on guard as memories fill my mind and anxiety floods my body. Recently, he took me to small claims court after having the summons delivered on my wedding day. Why is he in my house? He blurts out the details of our oldest sons suicide. I am in shock! Eventually, I compose myself enough to mute the microphone. I type into the chat, “I have to go. I just found out my son died.” The next few weeks are a blur, but I’m not devastated. Why? My recent past is helping me change my perspective on challenges.

            The divorce after a 29 year marriage, loss of financial security, moving to a smaller rental home in a new community, and loss of my local support system, were challenges that created immense fear in my life. I turned to the Lord, taking it one day at a time. The Lord showered me with compensating blessings and opened up unexpected opportunities. Friends treated me to a haircut, a ham for Christmas, and a $50 gift of cash that made a treasured Christmas tradition possible. Receiving attention from a much younger man at a singles dance restored some of my confidence. Affordable opportunities for college came for me and my two youngest daughters. Then, I met a man who quickly became my best friend. We connected on so many levels and he cared for me in a way I had never felt before. A few months later we were engaged and we married later in the year.

            Of all the challenges, the most devastating was the change in my relationship with my children. For 30 years, my dreams and my focus had centered on my family. I loved big family holiday meals and looked forward to spoiling my grandchildren. Every time I invited my children to a dinner or activity, they said “no.” My oldest son got mad at me at cut me out of his life. A couple months later the same happened with my oldest daughter. They didn’t explain their reasons. When I went on my honeymoon, I came home to discover another daughter had moved out of my home and in with her dad.  Again, there was no explanation or forewarning. I spent Thanksgiving alone and Christmas was only with my new husband. I never expected divorce to also mean losing my children. How do I find purpose in my life now?

            The same week I found out about my son’s death, the financing went through for the home my husband and I were buying. Once again I move and start over in building relationships. I get called as a ward missionary and embrace the sister missionaries as my own daughters. One particular teaching experience was eye opening for me as I was able to use my past painful experiences to connect with this older single woman. I began making friends with many other single women in the area. I realize how the Lord is using my most painful experiences to bless the lives of others. In loving and serving others, I find purpose. In three years, I have gone from divorce to happy marriage and from the death of my son to new life with many friends. My children are coming back to me and spending time with me. My ninth grandchild is on the way. The Lord has blessed me and I have greater faith in His making all challenges work for good. With new perspective, challenges have lost their frightening power.